ESPN Doesn't Care About Black (and Orange) People

The tears from Monday’s victory over the New York Yankees just keep flooding in.

I already linked the Rosenthal’s article on Fox Sports, where he seems to think booing the Yankees was only popular because of the recession, and that we were taking our frustrations out on our “betters”. But Colin Cowherd demonstrates the big-market arrogance of ESPN once again, blasting O’s fans for daring to boo one of the two teams his network cares about.

Orioles Hangout has an article about these two guys, and includes a quote from Cowherd’s joke of a show. They did a good job criticizing these two hacks, but I feel like more is needed. Let me break it down:

“People who yell out ‘you’re a sellout’, ‘you’re a corporate prostitute’, they never get offered anything by Corporate America. It’s easy to yell that. It’s the garage band that rips U2…”

First, no one still listens to U2. Well, no one with hair. And second, you make it sound like Tex was going to make $30,000 a year if he didn’t take this offer. It was a difference of less than $2.5 million a year, which after taxes is less than $1.5 million a year. If you really cared about a team, you’d take a discount. See: everyone on the Detroit Red Wings. Oh, and real original argument. Self-justification much?

”Bottom line? You don’t get booed unless you matter. Nobody boos the Baltimore Orioles when they’re on the road because nobody cares.”

To ESPN, Baltimore only matters when they’re the Red Sox’s doormat. I don’t know, maybe if the worldwide leader gave us some coverage instead of will-he / won’t-he soap opera bullshit about Terrell Owens (who they profess not to care about then obsess over), people would care. I know Cowherd’s just speaking out of bitterness, but really dude. If you think the same thing wouldn’t have happened if the O’s screwed another team out of their hometown hero in the making, you’re a bigger fool than I thought.

”Oriole fans are a symbol of what’s wrong with America.”

Huh?

”Jealousy, anger, and resentment toward the successful people.”

Oh, right, we’re jealous. Classic Yankee fan argument. And last I checked, the thing that was ruining our economy was the “successful” people making shitloads of money off of harebrained schemes involving a free lunch. Most of which were based in, gasp, New York. Oh, but if we didn’t complain about them fucking us over, everything would be fine. I hope New York falls into a hole in the Earth, I really wouldn’t notice anything but the increased quiet.

”Oriole fans, you may not be sharp enough to get this, but you just validated Teixeira and validated why nobody talks about you on the radio.”

No one in Baltimore listens to the radio because we discovered the Internet years ago. And how did we “validate” Tex? He chose the Yankees because they offered more money, not because he didn’t think we’re classy enough. If the O’s had offered more than the Yankees, he’d be insincerely harping on about how much he idolized Ripken as a kid and how Baltimore is the best city in the world, and how much his wife loves it here and is not sad at all they didn’t end up in New York. But the Yankees fans listening to you in their snuggies while they’re unemployed in your shit waste of a city were probably laughing that you implied we’re dumb. Oh well, at least I still have hair.

”Orioles fan, you may think you won last night, but you came across as small, angry, petty, clueless, and phony.”

Let me fix that sentence for you:

Colin Cowherd, you may think you made a point, but you came across as small, angry, petty, clueless, and phony.

Ah, much better.

Go O’s.

- Matt