MATT WIETERS. O'S WIN!

In many sports, a single game can swing momentum. Even moments in a game can push you on the way towards a great season. In hockey, a fight can change everything. In football, a crushing hit can lift your team. In baseketball, your star pussing out from a minor injury and acting like he got shot can... I'm bored.

Point is, this was not one of those games, so take your hands off your collective shaft. Matt Wieters will be great, but he's hardly going to turn the O's into contenders simply by being in the majors for the rest of the season. But he will give the entire city a desperately needed reason to hope for the future. That much was evident last night.

Anyway, recap o clock:

Top 1st: First pitch and... BUNT?!? Wieters handles it like a pro, fancy that.

Will: "It doesn't work like that."

Izturis ends the inning as Bergesen allows only one hit. I sound surprised.

Mid 1st: What is up with my favorite teams playing Detroit this weekend? Back to back Pens games for the Finals, and a weekend set against the Tigers. I'm sure the Lions lost to the Chargers this weekend, you have no proof they didn't.

Bot 1st: Wieters batting 7th. So not seeing him this inning is a strong possibility.

B-Rob draws a 5 pitch walk. Looks like the D-Train gives out EZ-PASS. I know that was a stretch.

So's your mom.

Potential double play again thwarted by Willis' inability to throw accurately. Whatchoo talkin bout, Willis? Sorry, it had to be done.

Another potential double play ruined by Jones' quality slide. Two out. Huffrey pops out, but guarantees a Wieters at bat next inning!

Top 2nd: Gary Thorne begrudgingly shills for a stuffed Chik-Fil-A cow toy. How the O's have fallen.

Bergesen gets a K while you grammar check that last paragraph. Two outs. Inning over a second later.

Mid 2nd: Matt Wieters.

Bot 2nd: Walk issued to Mora. Luuuuuuke singles, and Wieters walks out to thunderous applause and Hell's Bells. He flies out to right, and Mora bolts for third. Out.

I like what Mora was trying to do. Why? He's the clubhouse leader, and he's trying to show Wieters what a spark he's giving the rest of the team. If he'd made it to 3rd, Wieters' first AB would have provided a sacrifice play. During that, Reimold somethings, inning over.

Top 3rd: Bergesen locks on and delivers another solid inning.

Bot 3rd: Izzy grounds out, no one cares. B-Rob singles and punches AIDS in the groin. Mr. Jones bats for about 8 months and singles to a gap, moving Roberts to 3rd. Honeybear plates B-Rob and Jones moves to third. 1-0 O's! Unfortunately, Jones is caught in a rundown between 3rd and home, 2 outs. Looks like the O's are going to waste another potential big inning.

But wait, Mora loads the bases. Can Scott get it done?

djkhfkjsdb befdhj. LUUUUUUUUUUKE!!! GRAND SLAM!!! 3rd lefty to EVER homer off of Willis! 5-0 O's!

Wieters again, but he grounds out to the mound. But what an inning.

Top 4th: Before you know it, two outs. Wow, Bergesen has been really sharp tonig- Inning over. 10 batters in a row for Bergesen. I credit Wieters.

Mid 4th: Ooh, look at the pretty rainbow.

Bot 4th: Reimold who is not Matt Wieters, doubles with style. Izzy follows with a single, extending his hit streak to 4 games. B-Rob places his sac in D-Train's mouth and plates Reimold. 6-0 O's!

Mr. Jones... hit! Kakes... not so much. Double play, inning over.

Top 5th: While Roch is jobbing around, Bergesen gets a couple outs. Some douche hits a single, but Iceberg is cool and ends the inning.

Mid 5th: This crowd came for the Wieters, and stayed for the O's fulfilling their offensive potential... so far. Halfway there.

Bot 5th: Willis finally helps his team and retires Mora on a weird chopper. If you're even still watching, I salute you.

LUUUUUUUUKE and the air raid siren! Make that 4 lefty homers off of Willis. 7-0 O's! Some toothless kid celebrates on the balcony. If you can get a picture of him, I owe you big time.

Wieters rises to 0-3, inning over.

Top 6th: Thorne leaks the fact the O's knew Luke Scott would hit two homers tonight. What an announcer!

Bergesen retires the side before you can touch yourself.

Mid 6th: John Harbaugh with a clutch appearance. But last I checked, football season doesn't start for a few months.

Bot 6th: If you're not at least tipsy by this point, you're not trying. Inning goes faster than your erection when you banged that fat chick. Yes, I know about that.

Top 7th: Firefox flips shit, and somehow the Tigers score. I had forgotten they were even playing until that point. 7-1 O's. Inning over? Don't know/care.

Mid 7th: Oh, looks like it's 7-2 O's now.

Bot 7th: 2 outs in a row, then Huffrey notches a hit and pees all over Robertson, who's in the bullpen for some reason.

Blah.

Top 8th: Who's the player of the game? Clearly Matt Wieters.

Quick 1-2-3 for Bergesen. Please leave him in for the CG, Trembley!

Bot 8th: Crowd of 42,700 announced, with 15,000 buying tickets after Wieters' arrival was announced. Another shrewd move by MacPhail.

Speaking of Wieters, he strikes out. Guess his career will begin 0-4. Men on 1st and 2nd, but the O's are unable to capitalize.

Top 9th: And just like that, the Tigers get a double. I'd tell you who it was, but you don't care.

Single, runners at the corners. Bergesen leaves to a standing ovation. Johnson trots out. Quick out and clutch strikeout, with Wieters smothering the ball well. Popout, game, Matt Wieters.

Aftermath:

I'd link to articles and whatever, but I don't have time. I have to get ready to leave for Detroit in less than an hour. Second NHL playoff game ever, first on enemy ice! LET'S GO PENS!

And O's. Let's go O's too.

- Matt

Quality of Pens' Playoff Opponents

Another short entry!

I decided to rank the Pens' 7 playoff opponents under Crosby as captain. This is only based on the level of playoff prowess the opponent showed, not on any regular season statistics or whatever.

1. 2008 Detroit Red Wings (L in 6, opp. won Stanley Cup)

2. 2007 Ottawa Senators (L in 5, opp. was runner up in SCF)

3. 2009 Washington Capitals (W in 7, opp. went 7-7)

4. 2009 Philadelphia Flyers (W in 6, opp. lost in first round)

5. 2008 Philadelphia Flyers (W in 5, opp. upset two division winners)

6. 2008 New York Rangers (W in 5, opp. took Pens to OT in game 5)

7. 2008 Ottawa Senators (W in 4, opp. was completely outclassed)

It's hard to contest that the Wings were the best team of the 7. Numbers 4 and 5 are debatable, but I think the edge went to this year's Flyers, as the last year version kind of died after game 2.

The aggregate record for the "new" Pens:

2007: 1-4
2008: 14-6
2009: 8-5

Total: 23-15

In particular, Crosby's statistics over that span:

2007: 5 gms, 5 pts
2008: 20 gms, 27 pts (T-1st)
2009: 13 gms, 21 pts (T-1st)

Total: 38 gms, 53 pts. Holy crap.

- Matt

Worst Owner in Baseball

Can you argue with this? Didn't think so.

Why Caps Fans Can't Feel Bad About How Their Team's Season Ended

Before I get to the topic at hand, I have some thoughts:

* Holy shit, what a series. I can't honestly remember a series this intense and entertaining in the 20 years I've been watching hockey. I don't think I've ever seen a playoff series in any sport live up to the hype quite like this one.

* Pens fans - can you believe how far the team has come in 3+ months?!? Eastern Conference finalists again! Never take it for granted!

* The new Green Day song is so fucking terrible

* X-Men Origins: Wolverine was also fucking terrible

* It was so nice to see Crosby's skills on display on the national level. This is why he's a big deal. If only they'd covered his off-ice work ethic and beyond-the-call-of-duty charity work. But enough gushing about my favorite player.

Washington Capitals fans:

1. The emergence of Alex Semin and Simeon Varlamov cannot be taken lightly. These two names will be household next season, and they're both amazing players who will make Ovechkin's job so much easier to dominate.

2. Ovechkin is clearly the real deal. 11 goals in 14 games, 21 points in that same span. He was a force on the ice every shift. Whenever he had the puck, my buttcheeks clenched. Point is, he established himself as a true great this postseason.

3. The Caps won their first playoff season in a long, long time (first under Ted Leonsis). If that isn't progress, I don't know what is.

4. Caps fans showed an amazing amount of maturity during the last few minutes of Game 7. Cheering their team constantly, even though there was a clear losing effort, shows an enormous amount of class. This is a foundation of true fanhood, as well as heartbreaking playoff loss. The Caps' fanbase should be in good shape for many years to come.

5. The national exposure generated by this series ensures that the Caps will be one of the most popular NHL franchises for at least the next 5 years. This can only help Caps fans and the organization as a whole. Think about going to NYC for the weekend and being able to talk Caps with random people on the street. If that doesn't make you feel good, I don't know what can.

Anyway, hopefully that shows why the Caps are in good shape for years to come. If Ovechking doesn't win a Cup in the next 10 seasons, I don't know shit about hockey.

- Matt

PS- LET'S GO PENS!

Sports?

Yeah, this has nothing to do with anything. But I love this goddamn clip from Robot Chicken:



Wooooooo!