Beisbol?

Like Kurt Russell uncovering an ancient evil in a disaster movie, the Yankees hissed an evil paean and won the AL pennant for the first time since 2003. The painful part of this is now I have to root for a Philly team to stop the most hated team in sports. Still, even the asshole of America winning looks better than Mark Traitora hoisting whatever gay trophy MLB uses these days.

I digress. Orioles Hangout had an excellent article about Jeremy Guthrie and his late season surge/improvement. I feel a small amount of attachment to Guts, but with a Pirates-esque losing streak going on, I feel like everyone outside of Jones, Markakis and Wieters are, and should be, expendable. Trembley at least showed the fire for winning on the last game when, rather than leaving Melmo out so he could be subbed in and given a standing ovation in the top of the inning, he pulled him out for a pinch hitter that ultimately allowed the O's to win in extra innings. I'd love to see the Orioles win again, and if that means many beloved members of the team need to go, so be it. There, I said it.

On an unrelated matter, I was thinking about the average intelligence of fans of the various major leagues, and I came up with this unofficial list:

1. Baseball
2. Hockey
3. Soccer*
4. Basketball
5. NFL

The asterisk next to soccer indicates the difference between American and foreign soccer fans. Soccer is the NFL of the rest of the world, and the vast majority of fans behave accordingly. Although to the NFL's credit, fatal riots are exceedingly rare. Since Americans are brought up with peewee soccer and virtually no professional opportunities, it remains a niche sport on the major league level, albeit a fast-growing one. Niche sports often have a more educated (at least within the context of the game) fanbase, and reasonable to boot.

Baseball took number 1 for me because it's really the only one that even deserves the mantle of having "intelligent" fans. It has its fair share of stupid, fairweather fans, but to actually follow it every night requires patience and at least a semblance of an easygoing nature. The most common complaint here in Yinzertown is "I can't watch an entire baseball game". If the Bucs began winning, people would be all about baseball without knowing if their team won or lost the previous night.

Maybe labeling fans of certain sports "intelligent" is unfair. Fairweather fans muddle up every sport, and since the NFL is the most popular of the 5 in this country, it produces the loudest and dumbest voices. It could be a convenient excuse for me to berate the intelligence of Steelers fans, who I know are monumentally dumb. And for the increased ratings and fandom that the "new" NHL is bringing, I become increasingly worried about the kinds of people who follow it. If it were up to me, it would remain a northern niche sport, but in today's corporate TV culture, there's no chance it could sustain itself on such a model.

In short, the patrons demand the gladiator be executed. Who am I to deny them?

- Matt