I'm not sure if this is awesome or terrible:
[Deadspin]
Oh hell, I'll go with awesome. Looking up Max Talbot on youtube gives you two results: goofy commercials starring him, and him scoring a championship-clinching goal. LT's basically a cheerleader when the ball is between the 20s these days, so why not relax the mood of a choke-prone team?
- Matt
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Monday, January 11, 2010
The Mood in Boston
Here are two opinions of friends in Boston:
Haha...what is there to say? the game was over b4 i even made it to the bar! the ravens said 'bend over' and the pat's said 'hell yea we will. is this far enough?' -Kate
The pink hat crowd (fair weather fans) is like devastated the reasonable half like myself knew they were terrible. -Matt
I love hearing Pat fans upset...makes my day better.
-Brett
Haha...what is there to say? the game was over b4 i even made it to the bar! the ravens said 'bend over' and the pat's said 'hell yea we will. is this far enough?' -Kate
The pink hat crowd (fair weather fans) is like devastated the reasonable half like myself knew they were terrible. -Matt
I love hearing Pat fans upset...makes my day better.
-Brett
Wild Card Recap
I went 1-3...what does that mean? Every week that I make these picks if you're a betting man you should bet against me. I was able to watch 3 out of 4 games (missed the Ravens game...the ONE game I picked right). Let's start with my flawed analysis.
Jets at Bengals
Looks like Rex Ryan will have to hold off his "Yay the season is over all you can eat buffet marathon" for at least one more week. Somehow...my counterparts saw this...the Jets beat the Bengals. I blame Chris Henry...too soon? Regardless...here is how I saw the game.
In my Wild Card preview I said that CIN would put 8 men in the box, crowd the line of scrimmage, and make Sanchez win this game. I figured that would be the downfall of the Jets. Well I was right in some aspect of that. The Bengals crowed the line and the Jets ran. However...the Jets ran all over the Bengals. Greene was a beast rushing for 135 yards on 21 carries. With the Jets commitment to the run it allowed Brian Schottenheimer to dial up the play action extremely effectively.
What else Rex Ryan's D made Carson Palmer look like Trent Edwards. Palmer didn't look comfortable at ALL back there. Numerous times overthrowing his receiver. He never looked confident back there either. When you allow the opposing team to run the ball effectively and your QB sucks as badly as Palmer did...it's a recipe for disaster. The Jets played a perfect road game...gotta give it to them.
Game Ball: Brian Schottenheimer. He protected his rookie QB and called a very good game.
Side note: I've heard many members in the media make light of the fact that Rex Ryan only wears a long sleeve t and a sweater vest. They say that it shows how tough he is. Can anyone just be honest...he's FAT! If I had that much body fat keeping me warm I'd probably only be wearing a sweatervest too. And I'd spend my winters in Antarctica. Actually...can we raise money to buy Rex Ryan a one-way ticket there? I'll even throw in a bag of cheetos for the trip there. Anyone with me??
Eagles at Cowboys
At least I didn't say the score would be Eagles 172 Cowboys 4.
But the Cowboys finally made a statement and won a playoff game! I didn't realize this...but it was their first playoff victory since 1996. Looks like Wade will be keeping his job. And honestly...if I were the Vikings I'd be nervous. They looked solid. Did it surprise anyone else that McNabb barely had any passing yards until the second half? I'm wondering if his time in Philly is done. They have Kolb, an option to re-sign Vick...I'm wondering if they should trade McNabb...say...to the Bills?
Game Ball: Felix Jones...he's a game changer.
Ravens at the Patriots
LOL at Tom Brady and Belichick. Yes...I just said LOL like a schoolgirl...but that's how happy I am that the Patriots lost in the first round. I'll say it again...LOL!
Unfortunately I did not get to witness this raping...I was on a date. If the Pittsburgh police call me for information...unfortunately I cannot give a statement. However I think I heard the collective sobbing from the city of Boston. LOL (I swear it's my last one).
Looking at the stats however Flacco had 34 yards passing, which leads me to one conclusion. Jon Harbaugh reads our blog!!! I mentioned the way to win this game: "If Cam Cameron and Harbaugh realize a basic formula of running the ball will work...they'll win."
So Jon as you're reading this if you ever need someone else on your coaching staff I would be willing to take a leave of absence from M&T and come work with you. That or convince your brother to go coach the Bills. He's my #2 choice behind Russ Grimm. I'm really not on the Leslie Frazier train...I know Will says it's a "smart" hire...but I want an offensive HC. I digress...
Game Ball: Joe Flacco...yes yes yes 34 passing yards. But Will told me he's hurt and can barely walk. Guts...just guts. He's 3-1 in the playoffs...can't argue with that.
Packers at Cardinals
I didn't realize they instituted the shootout in football. It's been pretty successful in hockey. The Sabres and Colorado went to an 11 round shootout the other night. It was the highlight of the game...some say they hate the shootout...others love it. I hate it...but I love it. There's nothing better to watch than a good old fashioned shootout. (Note...the Sabres lost).
I'm glad Will, Matt, and I took the under in this game. People should listen to us...Brandon Lang ain't got NOTHIN on us!
This was my "sure thing" pick of the week. I'm glad I don't have a house that I could've bet on this game because I'd be sleeping in the vestibule at work. Interesting note...my boss told me a homeless person was sleeping there when he came into work on Saturday. I'm going to keep politics out of this and keep my mouth shut on homelessness.
4...that's the number of incompletions Warner had out of 33. If Kurt Warner retires at the end of the season the Cardinals are going to have their work cut out for them. As I tried to make a case for Russ Grimm and his o-line, Will stated...it's all Warner. I could not argue with that. It's hard to root against Kurt Warner. His story...well we've all heard it, so I won't repeat it, but I'm just saying it's hard to root against him.
Brett Favre who? Aaron Rodgers put on his OWN damn pair of Wranglers yesterday. Again...why the hell did I say Trent Edwards was going to have more passing yards than Rodgers? Has my admiration for Buffalo completely seeped into my brain and caused permanent damage? I sure hope not. Regardless...LOL (ok I lied) at San Fran for taking Alex Smith in 2005...that's really worked out well.
Game Ball: Kurt Warner...5 TDs and 4 incomplete passes.
Later on in the week...Division Round Predictions. I swear...pick against me and you'll do great. You can call me Brett the Greek and I won't make any racial comments about the black athlete either!
-Brett
Jets at Bengals
Looks like Rex Ryan will have to hold off his "Yay the season is over all you can eat buffet marathon" for at least one more week. Somehow...my counterparts saw this...the Jets beat the Bengals. I blame Chris Henry...too soon? Regardless...here is how I saw the game.
In my Wild Card preview I said that CIN would put 8 men in the box, crowd the line of scrimmage, and make Sanchez win this game. I figured that would be the downfall of the Jets. Well I was right in some aspect of that. The Bengals crowed the line and the Jets ran. However...the Jets ran all over the Bengals. Greene was a beast rushing for 135 yards on 21 carries. With the Jets commitment to the run it allowed Brian Schottenheimer to dial up the play action extremely effectively.
What else Rex Ryan's D made Carson Palmer look like Trent Edwards. Palmer didn't look comfortable at ALL back there. Numerous times overthrowing his receiver. He never looked confident back there either. When you allow the opposing team to run the ball effectively and your QB sucks as badly as Palmer did...it's a recipe for disaster. The Jets played a perfect road game...gotta give it to them.
Game Ball: Brian Schottenheimer. He protected his rookie QB and called a very good game.
Side note: I've heard many members in the media make light of the fact that Rex Ryan only wears a long sleeve t and a sweater vest. They say that it shows how tough he is. Can anyone just be honest...he's FAT! If I had that much body fat keeping me warm I'd probably only be wearing a sweatervest too. And I'd spend my winters in Antarctica. Actually...can we raise money to buy Rex Ryan a one-way ticket there? I'll even throw in a bag of cheetos for the trip there. Anyone with me??
Eagles at Cowboys
At least I didn't say the score would be Eagles 172 Cowboys 4.
But the Cowboys finally made a statement and won a playoff game! I didn't realize this...but it was their first playoff victory since 1996. Looks like Wade will be keeping his job. And honestly...if I were the Vikings I'd be nervous. They looked solid. Did it surprise anyone else that McNabb barely had any passing yards until the second half? I'm wondering if his time in Philly is done. They have Kolb, an option to re-sign Vick...I'm wondering if they should trade McNabb...say...to the Bills?
Game Ball: Felix Jones...he's a game changer.
Ravens at the Patriots
LOL at Tom Brady and Belichick. Yes...I just said LOL like a schoolgirl...but that's how happy I am that the Patriots lost in the first round. I'll say it again...LOL!
Unfortunately I did not get to witness this raping...I was on a date. If the Pittsburgh police call me for information...unfortunately I cannot give a statement. However I think I heard the collective sobbing from the city of Boston. LOL (I swear it's my last one).
Looking at the stats however Flacco had 34 yards passing, which leads me to one conclusion. Jon Harbaugh reads our blog!!! I mentioned the way to win this game: "If Cam Cameron and Harbaugh realize a basic formula of running the ball will work...they'll win."
So Jon as you're reading this if you ever need someone else on your coaching staff I would be willing to take a leave of absence from M&T and come work with you. That or convince your brother to go coach the Bills. He's my #2 choice behind Russ Grimm. I'm really not on the Leslie Frazier train...I know Will says it's a "smart" hire...but I want an offensive HC. I digress...
Game Ball: Joe Flacco...yes yes yes 34 passing yards. But Will told me he's hurt and can barely walk. Guts...just guts. He's 3-1 in the playoffs...can't argue with that.
Packers at Cardinals
I didn't realize they instituted the shootout in football. It's been pretty successful in hockey. The Sabres and Colorado went to an 11 round shootout the other night. It was the highlight of the game...some say they hate the shootout...others love it. I hate it...but I love it. There's nothing better to watch than a good old fashioned shootout. (Note...the Sabres lost).
I'm glad Will, Matt, and I took the under in this game. People should listen to us...Brandon Lang ain't got NOTHIN on us!
This was my "sure thing" pick of the week. I'm glad I don't have a house that I could've bet on this game because I'd be sleeping in the vestibule at work. Interesting note...my boss told me a homeless person was sleeping there when he came into work on Saturday. I'm going to keep politics out of this and keep my mouth shut on homelessness.
4...that's the number of incompletions Warner had out of 33. If Kurt Warner retires at the end of the season the Cardinals are going to have their work cut out for them. As I tried to make a case for Russ Grimm and his o-line, Will stated...it's all Warner. I could not argue with that. It's hard to root against Kurt Warner. His story...well we've all heard it, so I won't repeat it, but I'm just saying it's hard to root against him.
Brett Favre who? Aaron Rodgers put on his OWN damn pair of Wranglers yesterday. Again...why the hell did I say Trent Edwards was going to have more passing yards than Rodgers? Has my admiration for Buffalo completely seeped into my brain and caused permanent damage? I sure hope not. Regardless...LOL (ok I lied) at San Fran for taking Alex Smith in 2005...that's really worked out well.
Game Ball: Kurt Warner...5 TDs and 4 incomplete passes.
Later on in the week...Division Round Predictions. I swear...pick against me and you'll do great. You can call me Brett the Greek and I won't make any racial comments about the black athlete either!
-Brett
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Patriots = Stunned
The goat is shopping around for a better QB.
I'll let Will/Brett elaborate on the game. First, I'm on the phone with the Pittsburgh police for the rape I witnessed in New England.
- Matt
Friday, January 8, 2010
Thank You
I would like to extend a thank you to Matt and Will for giving me this incredible opportunity to write for such a prestigious blog.
I promise to give a high level of bias to the Bills and Sabres.
Thank you.
-Brett
I promise to give a high level of bias to the Bills and Sabres.
Thank you.
-Brett
Wild Card Preview
It's time. But I don't really care all that much, so in the spirit of the Deadspin Jamboroo, if I don't care about a game, I'll go off on a random tangent.
Jets at Bengals
Is football where all the fat asshole shitstains of the world get jobs? I only ask because Rex Ryan is a fucking douche. And he weighs like 800 pounds. I was raised in a fairly progressive household, and I'd like to consider myself free of racism and other prejudice. But obese people piss me right the fuck off. My brother told me that the history channel (which should be renamed the Bible Channel) showed scientists tying "gluttony" to neurological disorders. You know what? I'll take it a step further. Obese people are not only insane, they're dangerous. If they become the next scapegoat in this country, I'm way on board for that. Consider me on the fat-hater bandwagon.
Note: Birdmen does not endorse the harming or killing of morbidly obese people. Let them kill themselves.
Prediction: Jets 27, Bengals 17
Eagles at Cowboys
This is the most interesting game this weekend. This means two things: one, football is pretty unexciting. Two, I have no idea what to expect from this game. I say interesting, not good, for a reason. With the kind of unpredictable game I'm expecting, one team usually embarasses the other and makes it unwatchable by the second quarter. I can't think of any recent offenders, but I know the difference between "good" and "interesting" enough to say this game is going to be unwatchable by the second half. I'm picking a blowout, and I assume Will is too, since he picked DAL DAL U.
Prediction: Eagles 172, Cowboys 4
Ravens at Patriots
This game could go either way. The Ravens just haven't looked very good this year. Neither have the Patriots. If this were college football, it would be called the Earning the Privelege to Get Raped in Round Two Bowl. The Chargers could feasibly triple the Patriots' score. The Colts are just way too strong for anything the Ravens can muster. And they have Stover. Does it really matter who wins this game?
Now watch the winner get to the Super Bowl.
Prediction: Ravens 23, Patriots 21
Packers at Cardinals
While watching King of the Hill on Adult Swim last night, there were a few promos for the next Family Guy episode to premiere on the station. As an avid fan of the series' beginning, I feel like I have to ask, "what the hell happened to this show?" Part of me feels success has spoiled it, making everyone who works on it lazy because they've found a working formula. But I have a better idea: Seth Macfarlane is the most egotistical man in the TV business. Every episode, other characters are constantly telling Brian (who's essentially Seth) how good his voice is. This seems to be a matter of insecurity for him, even though he does have a good voice.
He also seems to revel in putting down his coworkers' other projects, as if to assert some sort of alpha-dog dominance on the cast. The last straw for me was the live singing performance with Alex Borstein that came out a few months ago. Hey, guys. The reason you're on an ANIMATED show is because you have faces/bodies for radio. If I want to see ugly, fat people showboating for inexplicably slavish fans, I'll watch football.
Speaking of which, Green Bay is almost too chic a pick right now. Bed-shitting remains a strong possibility this weekend, but I doubt it.
Prediction: Green Bay 34, Arizona 23
Bonus Prediction: Tom Brady is knocked out of the game against Baltimore at some point.
- Matt
Jets at Bengals
Is football where all the fat asshole shitstains of the world get jobs? I only ask because Rex Ryan is a fucking douche. And he weighs like 800 pounds. I was raised in a fairly progressive household, and I'd like to consider myself free of racism and other prejudice. But obese people piss me right the fuck off. My brother told me that the history channel (which should be renamed the Bible Channel) showed scientists tying "gluttony" to neurological disorders. You know what? I'll take it a step further. Obese people are not only insane, they're dangerous. If they become the next scapegoat in this country, I'm way on board for that. Consider me on the fat-hater bandwagon.
Note: Birdmen does not endorse the harming or killing of morbidly obese people. Let them kill themselves.
Prediction: Jets 27, Bengals 17
Eagles at Cowboys
This is the most interesting game this weekend. This means two things: one, football is pretty unexciting. Two, I have no idea what to expect from this game. I say interesting, not good, for a reason. With the kind of unpredictable game I'm expecting, one team usually embarasses the other and makes it unwatchable by the second quarter. I can't think of any recent offenders, but I know the difference between "good" and "interesting" enough to say this game is going to be unwatchable by the second half. I'm picking a blowout, and I assume Will is too, since he picked DAL DAL U.
Prediction: Eagles 172, Cowboys 4
Ravens at Patriots
This game could go either way. The Ravens just haven't looked very good this year. Neither have the Patriots. If this were college football, it would be called the Earning the Privelege to Get Raped in Round Two Bowl. The Chargers could feasibly triple the Patriots' score. The Colts are just way too strong for anything the Ravens can muster. And they have Stover. Does it really matter who wins this game?
Now watch the winner get to the Super Bowl.
Prediction: Ravens 23, Patriots 21
Packers at Cardinals
While watching King of the Hill on Adult Swim last night, there were a few promos for the next Family Guy episode to premiere on the station. As an avid fan of the series' beginning, I feel like I have to ask, "what the hell happened to this show?" Part of me feels success has spoiled it, making everyone who works on it lazy because they've found a working formula. But I have a better idea: Seth Macfarlane is the most egotistical man in the TV business. Every episode, other characters are constantly telling Brian (who's essentially Seth) how good his voice is. This seems to be a matter of insecurity for him, even though he does have a good voice.
He also seems to revel in putting down his coworkers' other projects, as if to assert some sort of alpha-dog dominance on the cast. The last straw for me was the live singing performance with Alex Borstein that came out a few months ago. Hey, guys. The reason you're on an ANIMATED show is because you have faces/bodies for radio. If I want to see ugly, fat people showboating for inexplicably slavish fans, I'll watch football.
Speaking of which, Green Bay is almost too chic a pick right now. Bed-shitting remains a strong possibility this weekend, but I doubt it.
Prediction: Green Bay 34, Arizona 23
Bonus Prediction: Tom Brady is knocked out of the game against Baltimore at some point.
- Matt
Thursday, January 7, 2010
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