Day 2 of detailing why no team is good enough to win the Super Bowl this year. Today:
AFC East: That 90's Show
Buffalo Bills
Go-To Play: When playing teams wearing red uniforms, offensive linemen are replaced by bulls. While clearly against NFL rules, no one has noticed the change thus far.
Defense: Pretty much just snow:
Chances of Winning: The Sabres season starts in early October, beat the ticket rush.
Miami Dolphins
Go-To Play: With so many mediocre QBs over the past few years, this team just settles for positive yardage.
Defense: Do they still that one guy? Taylor? No? OK, it's pretty awful.
Chances of Winning: A game? Pretty good. Two or three? Hey, let's not get greedy.
New England Patriots
Go-To Play: Given that they broke every offensive record last year, Jesus, what isn't?
Defense: Wins championships, but no one has had the heart to tell them the offense blew it in the most recent Super Bowl just yet. We just don't think the defense could handle it...
Chances of Winning: They better go 19-0, otherwise they're going to have to give away another batch of clothing to children in third world countries. And time's running out on that book title copyright, too.
New Jersey Jets
Go-To Play: Brett Favre, Favre Favre Brett Favre. Favre Brett Brett, Favreity Favre Favre Favre. Brett? Ha! Brett Favre!
Defense: Did I already mention Brett Favre?
Chances of Winning: Will skyrocket once John Madden claims to "have always loved the Jets organization".
Tomorrow- the AFC South, which will excite all eleven fans of the division who have access to the Internet.
- Matt
1 comment:
Oh you know Madden's been a closet Jets fan for years!
Post a Comment