Saturday, August 16, 2008

NFC Preview: Welcome to the Minors (part 1)

Yeah, fuck the NFC. Here's a much more abbreviated version of what I've been doing this week.



NFC North: Male Team Seeking Quarterbacks

Chicago Bears: Living proof that defense does not, in fact, win championships.

Detroit Lions: Little known fact about the Lions - they are a football team.

Green Bay Packers: Losing Brett Favre means they will finish with a record of -1 - 17. Add it up, it equals 16.

Minnesota Vikings: Not nearly as cool as Vikings, but go ahead and buy a purple jersey if you really want to.



NFC East: Somehow, Really Popular

Dallas Cowboys: "Cowboys" is actually a euphemism for "Retards" in this case.

New York Giants: I'm sorry, I can't do this. FINE. Super Bowl MVP Eli Manning- fuck it, I'm out of here...

Philthadelphia Eagles: Trying a new strategy of blinding opponents with the ugliest uniforms in the history of mankind.

Washington Redskins: Keeping the proud American tradition of football hand-in-hand with the proud American tradition of racism.



Orioles lost tonight, boo. Tomorrow, biting the bullet and pretending I give a shit about the last 8 teams in the NFL.

- Matt

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