Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Not A Sports Post

Not like that's the point of the site or anything. Hm.

Given that the Chargers/Penguins have yet to play a real game, and the Orioles are playing like the season's already over, I think it's time to mix things up. Therefore, here's my first non-sports post of the year.



Top 10 Bands of All Time

But first the honorable mentions, meaning I won't list any of the top 10 today.



H5. Nirvana

Arguably, the creators of grunge music, and the reason alternative music became incredibly popular during the 1990s. The band represented Generation X and their Unplugged concert is legendary. Of course, you could also argue they wouldn't have been nearly as popular if Kurt Cobain hadn't killed himself.



H4. AC / DC

One of the most distinctive rock bands of all time, AC / DC sold almost as many copies of Back in Black as Nirvana sold total albums. They further pioneered the hard rock genre, just as Led Zeppelin split up. Not only is their music the quintessential rock music, their concerts were filled with amazing special effects and highly entertaining. The knock on them would be that probably over half their songs sound very similar if not the same, and have the word "rock" somewhere in the title.



H3. Bad Religion

Probably best known for their songs in the mid-1990s, Bad Religion has actually been around since 1980. They are a punk rock band in true Clash form, and are responsible for the popularity of punk rock bands such as the Offspring, Green Day and Blink-182 in the 1990s. Their lyrics are filled with interesting vocabulary, metaphors, and other things that put them a cut above the rest in music content. And they HATE George W. Bush. The negative is that your initial reaction to hearing them is "oh, this sounds like [band name]". While some find them distinctive, many don't even think twice about the band. Not exactly top 10 material then.



H2. Foo Fighters

Many might say it's blasphemy to rank Foo Fighters above Nirvana. Whatever. First, Dave Grohl is a far better frontman than a drummer. Second, Cobain was brilliant but not very skilled at guitar (purists just died a little). Third, despite a very subpar latest album, the Foo Fighters are one of rock music's hottest acts in a time of high levels of competition. The first four albums by this band are in my opinion some of the best hard rock albums ever recorded. The Colour and the Shape in particular is great, with grunge and alternative elements mixed with heavy metal thrashing and shrieking, with some acoustic thrown in for good measure. It feels like a Led Zeppelin album in versatility and unpredictability. You can see that it's one of my favorites. Unfortunately for Grohl for the second time on this list, he is only an honorable mention because you're only as good as your last album. And it showed a turn for the bland, which docks the Foo Fighters from the #10 spot, where I originally had them. Onto the shafted-est group on the list:



H1. Queen

Would you believe me if I told you Queen has spent more time in the Billboard Top 200 than the Beatles, Led Zeppelin, Elvis Presley, and every other artist in the history of music? Probably not, but it's true. Also, their Greatest Hits album is the highest-selling album of all time in the United Kingdom, with almost 700,000 more copies (a full gold album) ahead of Sgt. Pepper. They have an incredibly distinct and unique sound, and one of the all-time greatest ballads in "Bohemian Rhapsody". So why are they an honorable mention? This is a matter of personal preference, which you will see clearly in the actual top 10 in my next post. Apologies now go out to:

The Beatles (just kidding, they're overrated), The Doors, Oasis, Aerosmith, Boston, The Goo Goo Dolls, The Rolling Stones, The Clash, Metallica, Radiohead, and U2. None of you made the top 10 (well, top 15) despite being incredibly successful, popular, and in most cases great all-around acts. You'll just have to find out how the top 10 stack up later.

- Matt

Friday, August 22, 2008

Streak Over

Well that didn't last long.

Anyway, much more importantly, the US men's team is playing for gold on Sunday morning. They face Hungary, the best offense in the tournament. The USA is by far the best defense in the games, but they'll have their work cut out for them this time.

I'd analyze this more but I have a lot to cover.

First, Shawne Merriman is out indefinitely. This is very bad for the Chargers, especially with both Gates and LT on the mend. Healthy, the Chargers are serious contenders in the AFC for not only the conference championship but the Super Bowl. Without these guys, they almost won't win the AFC West.

Second, the O's took a game from the Red Sox. This was huge to me, because I fear the worst when the Red Sox come to town. However, they have not yet swept the O's this year (knock on wood), whereas the O's have a (2-game) sweep of Boston. I was going to give up on my earlier predictions if the Orioles had been swept. But now, they are within realistic striking distance of .500 still. Only 3 games against the Sox, but 6 against the Yankees (who they've dominated) and the Blue Jays (who they've... not dominated), as well as 7 against the (Devil) Rays. It will take a hell of an effort to meet my optimistic prediction of 82-80. They face the Twins, White Sox and Indians as well as their divisional foes.

Cutting this one short, whatever.

- Matt

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Water Polo in the Olympics

In case you're part of the vast majority of the American population, you probably haven't been paying attention to the US Water Polo team, either men's or women's. Allow me to enlighten you.

First, the women. They went undefeated in group play (2-0-1) and beat Australia (who beat them for gold in 2000) 9-8 early this morning. The Aussies tied it up at 8 after trailing by 3 going into the fourth quarter. Brenda Villa fired off a man-up shot from about 5 m out to give the Americans the lead they wouldn't lose for the remaining minute. Now, the US women face the Netherlands in the finals, and they are heavily favored to win. Hopefully the girls can get the elusive Olympic gold.

Speaking of elusive gold, guess how long the US men's team has gone without winning the gold? 104 years, when they won all three medals (weird). This year, they have the group B number one seed, and will be playing for a medal regardless of how the first game against Spain/Serbia goes. Hungary will play the winner of Croatia/Montenegro, both of which are probably still considered more likely to win the gold than the US. However, the US men have the number one defense in the Olympics, even though they gave up 11 goals to Italy. Of the other two teams to advance into medal play, the US has only let up 9 goals combined (even though they scored the same total amount). Seems like the 9th best team in the world might be a tad underrated.

Anyway, here's hoping the USA can sweep the water polo medals and be the undisputed aquatic masters of the world. A few quick thoughts:
  • Why can't the Orioles beat the Red Sox? Fuck.

  • How could the Chargers only score 6 points total against the goddamn St. Louis Rams? Fuck.

  • Whits is out until possibly 2009. Fuck. Oh wait, Letang and Goligoski. Cool. Ish.

- Matt

Monday, August 18, 2008

Guthrie Watch 2

Looks like Guts had another solid night. Too bad the offense couldn't give him the W. He'll be leaving the game with 7 IP, 5 H, 5 BB, 4 K, and 2 ER on 2 HR. His ERA is still under Lester's, meaning the entire Red Sox team is worse than he is. Even though it's not over yet, I have little faith on matters of beating the Red Sox nowadays.

Lengthier post tomorrow, I'm fucking tired tonight.

- Matt

Sunday, August 17, 2008

NFC Preview: Like The AFC, Only Shitty (part 2)

Solid win by the O's today. 22 hits and Mora getting one hit away from a cycle for the second time in a few days is clutch. Time to finish this terrible idea.



NFC Souf: Birthplace of Crime

Atlanta Falcons: Due to recent animal abuse, thinking of changing name to Spousechokers.

Carolina Panthers: Whatever.

New Orleans Saints: No longer required to tread water during practices and games.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Have an awesome friggin' pirate boat that fires cannonballs when they fucking score! Who cares how good or bad they are? Best. Team. EVER.



NFC West: More Teams Than Fans

Arizona Cardinals: Matt Leinart ranks number one consistently in the Top 100 Guys You'd Like to Suckerpunch annual poll.

San Francisco 49ers: Contrary to popular belief, this team did not, in fact, move to Canada in the late 90s. You may further be shocked to hear they've had nationally known players on their team even as recently as three years ago.

Seattle Seahawks: Wait, these guys are totally in the AFC. I'll get back to you on that.

St. Louis Rams: Asses. Heheheheh.



Real Orioles and possibly Chargers post tomorrow. Damn work nights.

- Matt

Saturday, August 16, 2008

NFC Preview: Welcome to the Minors (part 1)

Yeah, fuck the NFC. Here's a much more abbreviated version of what I've been doing this week.



NFC North: Male Team Seeking Quarterbacks

Chicago Bears: Living proof that defense does not, in fact, win championships.

Detroit Lions: Little known fact about the Lions - they are a football team.

Green Bay Packers: Losing Brett Favre means they will finish with a record of -1 - 17. Add it up, it equals 16.

Minnesota Vikings: Not nearly as cool as Vikings, but go ahead and buy a purple jersey if you really want to.



NFC East: Somehow, Really Popular

Dallas Cowboys: "Cowboys" is actually a euphemism for "Retards" in this case.

New York Giants: I'm sorry, I can't do this. FINE. Super Bowl MVP Eli Manning- fuck it, I'm out of here...

Philthadelphia Eagles: Trying a new strategy of blinding opponents with the ugliest uniforms in the history of mankind.

Washington Redskins: Keeping the proud American tradition of football hand-in-hand with the proud American tradition of racism.



Orioles lost tonight, boo. Tomorrow, biting the bullet and pretending I give a shit about the last 8 teams in the NFL.

- Matt

Friday, August 15, 2008

AFC Preview: All The FC You Can Handle (part 4)

No, Will, that wasn't a cleverly veiled slap at soccer. Yet.


AFC West: Where Good Teams Go To Die

Denver Broncos

Go-To Play: Snapping to Cutler, wishing he was Elway.

Defense: Hasn't played well, not since Elway left.

Chances of Elway: Sadly, gone forever. (Editor's Note: I'm not sad, he's a douche)



Joakland Raiders

Go-To Play: Any play they call usually breaks down right before the snap, when the quarterback realizes who his offensive linemen are and runs off the field, screaming like a little girl.

Defense: The famous Oakland "Black Hole" is not actually a collection of rabid fans, but rather a collapsed star whose intense gravitational pull keeps opponents from scoring.

Chances of Winning: Terrible, but at least the fans are prepared for the upcoming KISS concert:




Kansas City Chiefs

Go-To Play: Whichever play gets them the hell out of Kansas City.

Defense: Ripping off arrowheads from side of helmet and stabbing opponents with them has led to a better Yards Against Per Game average and increased fines/suspensions

Chances of Winning: While Las Vegas says slim to none, a fat guy in Kansas playing Madden 08 claims they win the next four Super Bowls.



San Diego Chargers

Go-To Play: LT busts out an electric guitar and starts thrashing on it, melting his opponents faces and running into the end zone uncontested for a touchdown. Note: part of this play is not televised for safety reasons.

Defense: Though he's no longer using steroids, the NFL is still critical of Shawne Merriman, who has been known to shoot bolts of lightning from his fingers at opposing quarterbacks.

Chances of Winning: After legally changing Philip Rivers' last name to "Manning", the NFL is sure to rig the playoffs again so the Chargers win it all this year.



Tomorrow: the NFC. No one is excited.

- Matt