Nothing to say. Go Saints.
- Matt
Showing posts with label Chargers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Chargers. Show all posts
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Unreal
I'm not sure if this is awesome or terrible:
[Deadspin]
Oh hell, I'll go with awesome. Looking up Max Talbot on youtube gives you two results: goofy commercials starring him, and him scoring a championship-clinching goal. LT's basically a cheerleader when the ball is between the 20s these days, so why not relax the mood of a choke-prone team?
- Matt
[Deadspin]
Oh hell, I'll go with awesome. Looking up Max Talbot on youtube gives you two results: goofy commercials starring him, and him scoring a championship-clinching goal. LT's basically a cheerleader when the ball is between the 20s these days, so why not relax the mood of a choke-prone team?
- Matt
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Norv Turner
Rick Reilly took his head out of his ass for long enough to write this article about Norv Turner.
I have to say, I really feel for the guy after reading this. I've noticed the past year I've been saying "say what you will about Norv, but his record is pretty damn good". Could it be possible I'm starting to like him? He's not an asshole like almost all other football coaches (cough, Rex Ryan), and he has a good rapport with his players. If you're San Diego's GM, would you ever fire someone with 3 division titles and a 3-3 playoff record? His replacement would not do better, at least immediately.
So kudos, Norv. Now you're acceptable at the very least.
- Matt
I have to say, I really feel for the guy after reading this. I've noticed the past year I've been saying "say what you will about Norv, but his record is pretty damn good". Could it be possible I'm starting to like him? He's not an asshole like almost all other football coaches (cough, Rex Ryan), and he has a good rapport with his players. If you're San Diego's GM, would you ever fire someone with 3 division titles and a 3-3 playoff record? His replacement would not do better, at least immediately.
So kudos, Norv. Now you're acceptable at the very least.
- Matt
Monday, November 16, 2009
Low Blow
Courtesy of John Clayton on ESPN.com:
"The Broncos' three-game losing streak apparently has coach Josh McDaniels a little out of sorts. He opened his postgame news conference by congratulating "the Chargers and Jim Zorn."
Not cool, McDaniels. I don't like Norv any more than you, but at least he still calls the plays here.
- Matt
"The Broncos' three-game losing streak apparently has coach Josh McDaniels a little out of sorts. He opened his postgame news conference by congratulating "the Chargers and Jim Zorn."
Not cool, McDaniels. I don't like Norv any more than you, but at least he still calls the plays here.
- Matt
Monday, October 19, 2009
...
Season over. 3.5 games back in week 6, and this isn't last year's Broncos. No way the Chargers beat out two of the Texans, Ravens, Steelers, Bengals, Patriots, Jets, or even the bloody Dolphins for the wild card. I'm glad I can only watch two more of the games on tv this season, it's been a shitty one.
Fire Norv.
- Matt
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Monday, September 14, 2009
Monday Night Double Feature!
And I'm not even talking about my amazing two posts in one day.
Tonight the Pats host the Bills and the Chargers (wooo) visit Oakland. The total record of the Pats and Bolts against their respective opponents over the last 11 games is 22-0. The teams will play in nifty AFL uniforms and the refs look like carnival barkers. That's pretty much all you need to know.
Buffalo @ New England: I'm not sure there's a single matchup that works heavily in favor of the Bills. Overall, this could end up a pretty brutal game for Buffalo. As I write this, the Bills made a nice fourth down stop, but if you think that's the game, you're deluded. And probably also from upstate New York.
San Diego @ Oakland: Good Lord, how is this game always on Monday Night Football? I see no reason for non-Chargers fans to stay up for this game. Hell, I might not even stay up for it. It's going to be either an ugly, ugly win by Oakland (not very likely), a surprisingly ugly win by the Bolts (somewhat likely), or a blowout with little entertainment value (most likely). You just hope that LT can pile up some yards and confidence.
Ranking of unis tonight:
1. San Diego powder blues
2. New England surreal red and goofy logo
3. Buffalo classic
4. Oakland classic... normal?
5.
6. Refs... what the fuck.
- Matt
Tonight the Pats host the Bills and the Chargers (wooo) visit Oakland. The total record of the Pats and Bolts against their respective opponents over the last 11 games is 22-0. The teams will play in nifty AFL uniforms and the refs look like carnival barkers. That's pretty much all you need to know.
Buffalo @ New England: I'm not sure there's a single matchup that works heavily in favor of the Bills. Overall, this could end up a pretty brutal game for Buffalo. As I write this, the Bills made a nice fourth down stop, but if you think that's the game, you're deluded. And probably also from upstate New York.
San Diego @ Oakland: Good Lord, how is this game always on Monday Night Football? I see no reason for non-Chargers fans to stay up for this game. Hell, I might not even stay up for it. It's going to be either an ugly, ugly win by Oakland (not very likely), a surprisingly ugly win by the Bolts (somewhat likely), or a blowout with little entertainment value (most likely). You just hope that LT can pile up some yards and confidence.
Ranking of unis tonight:
1. San Diego powder blues
2. New England surreal red and goofy logo
3. Buffalo classic
4. Oakland classic... normal?
5.
6. Refs... what the fuck.
- Matt
Monday, July 27, 2009
Not a Ravens Fan, But...
This hurts:
[TSN]
Now the birds' situation looks all the more desperate; you don't want to ruin Flacco with WR scrubs. Harrison's leverage just skyrocketed.
On the Bolts side of things, I still can't understand why so many predict a large fall for this season. Both for the team and LT. Last year, the Chargers' two best players were out (LT was essentially out with his toe injury) and they still made the playoffs, and ohbytheway beat the hottest team in the NFL at the time, the Colts. All without a sliver of pass D.
This is a young team that gets better every year. The fact that opponents now need to plan for Sproles as well as LT suggests a minor renaissance for the big man. Merriman will cause havoc, especially if English is any good. Rivers had the best QB rating in the league last year, throwing TDs to 9 different players. Once the D improves, the offense will look that much better.
Will they win 14 games again? No. Will they win their division? Likely. Will the "hard" schedule hurt them? A little I suppose. But even in their "terrible" year last year, they amassed a 5-1 record in their division, 6-0 if not for Hochuli. The Bolts under Turner have consistently won when it matters most. I expect more of the same this season.
- Matt
[TSN]
Now the birds' situation looks all the more desperate; you don't want to ruin Flacco with WR scrubs. Harrison's leverage just skyrocketed.
On the Bolts side of things, I still can't understand why so many predict a large fall for this season. Both for the team and LT. Last year, the Chargers' two best players were out (LT was essentially out with his toe injury) and they still made the playoffs, and ohbytheway beat the hottest team in the NFL at the time, the Colts. All without a sliver of pass D.
This is a young team that gets better every year. The fact that opponents now need to plan for Sproles as well as LT suggests a minor renaissance for the big man. Merriman will cause havoc, especially if English is any good. Rivers had the best QB rating in the league last year, throwing TDs to 9 different players. Once the D improves, the offense will look that much better.
Will they win 14 games again? No. Will they win their division? Likely. Will the "hard" schedule hurt them? A little I suppose. But even in their "terrible" year last year, they amassed a 5-1 record in their division, 6-0 if not for Hochuli. The Bolts under Turner have consistently won when it matters most. I expect more of the same this season.
- Matt
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Mid-March State of the Blog
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Ok, just gentlemen.
Here's a long-awaited post from me, as I've been slacking a lot, after giving Will a lot of shit earlier. With the Penguins streaking (10 straight games with at least a point earned), I've been spending a ton of time on the Pensblog in a state of maddening joy. But it's time to rap, gents. About the sports.
Baltimore Orioles: Orioles Hangout had a very good post on Brian Matusz's pitching mechanics recently. I recommend reading it, but you may not like what you hear. In short, he needs a lot of work, meaning he probably won't make an impact in the majors until at least 2012. Whatever keeps the arm fresh is good with me though.
And, uh, Orioles will flirt with .500 as late as September. Bank on it.
Baltimore Ravens: It's good that the dirty birds kept Ray Ray. He's one of the most beloved players in Baltimore sports history, no matter what the rest of the country thinks. The only thing to watch is a potential "old guard" versus new D coordinator situation, much like the Steelers experienced with Alan Faneca in their offensive line. Which reminds me, Steelers suck.
San Diego Chargers: Good move restructuring LT's deal without trying to rip him off. He's still a top 5 back in the league, he just needs to get healthy. Cutting down on the money while including guarantees for the roughest position in all of sports is a fair compromise. It's even better that this got resolved early in the offseason, rather than creating a boiler pressure situation after the draft. I'm feeling good about the Bolts next season.
Indianapolis Colts: are gay.
Maryland Terrapins: WOOOOOOOO! I like the first round matchup with Cal. It's a rematch of the football game last fall when the Terps surprised the Bears. MD has a good chance, I'm penciling them in the W column. They're starting to play well on neutral courts, which will be very useful in the very near future.
Pittsburgh Penguins: Streaking! Suddenly, the Pens find themselves in the 5 seed position with 82 points. With 11 games left to play, one figures the Pens need to go 6-5 the rest of the season to be assured a playoff spot. That would be 43 wins and 94 points, which is enough in the post-lockout landscape. Depending on their first round matchup, they could be doing a lot of damage. The first line is looking very good these days, Guerin, Kunitz and Crosby all had 3 points in this afternoon's game. It was good enough to make the scoring race a 1-2 Penguins punch, which is the first time since Lemieux-Jagr that it's happened this late in the season.
Washington Capitals: Whaaa?!? Considering a third of our readership is Caps fans, I'm giving legitimate space to reporting about them without calling them names. Given their stellar track record at home (despite recent struggles), their recent road power show speaks volumes. On the other hand, their first round opponent will come out swinging in the first two games, knowing that the Caps can clean up in another team's arena. Ovechkin in particular has picked up his game away from home, but bank on him creating more points at home in the postseason. The worry spot for fans has to be Green; teams are starting to pick up on his reluctance to take the body. The playoffs are a grind, and dirty goals are a must. The Ovechkin Play (TM) on the power play may not work, so the Caps have to find a way to adjust.
NHL: Red Wings have taken the points lead. Who's surprised? ...Columbus is the lovable underdog in the West, they're in good position to make the playoffs for the first time in franchise history. ...Philly may make a push for the Atlantic division title if Brodeur stops owning the league soon. They have several games in hand on most Eastern teams. ...It seems only one of the Sabres, Canes and Panthers will make the playoffs. I'm banking on the Hurricanes to finally snap their drought.
Totally wrong NCAA tourney predictions later this week.
- Matt
Here's a long-awaited post from me, as I've been slacking a lot, after giving Will a lot of shit earlier. With the Penguins streaking (10 straight games with at least a point earned), I've been spending a ton of time on the Pensblog in a state of maddening joy. But it's time to rap, gents. About the sports.
Baltimore Orioles: Orioles Hangout had a very good post on Brian Matusz's pitching mechanics recently. I recommend reading it, but you may not like what you hear. In short, he needs a lot of work, meaning he probably won't make an impact in the majors until at least 2012. Whatever keeps the arm fresh is good with me though.
And, uh, Orioles will flirt with .500 as late as September. Bank on it.
Baltimore Ravens: It's good that the dirty birds kept Ray Ray. He's one of the most beloved players in Baltimore sports history, no matter what the rest of the country thinks. The only thing to watch is a potential "old guard" versus new D coordinator situation, much like the Steelers experienced with Alan Faneca in their offensive line. Which reminds me, Steelers suck.
San Diego Chargers: Good move restructuring LT's deal without trying to rip him off. He's still a top 5 back in the league, he just needs to get healthy. Cutting down on the money while including guarantees for the roughest position in all of sports is a fair compromise. It's even better that this got resolved early in the offseason, rather than creating a boiler pressure situation after the draft. I'm feeling good about the Bolts next season.
Indianapolis Colts: are gay.
Maryland Terrapins: WOOOOOOOO! I like the first round matchup with Cal. It's a rematch of the football game last fall when the Terps surprised the Bears. MD has a good chance, I'm penciling them in the W column. They're starting to play well on neutral courts, which will be very useful in the very near future.
Pittsburgh Penguins: Streaking! Suddenly, the Pens find themselves in the 5 seed position with 82 points. With 11 games left to play, one figures the Pens need to go 6-5 the rest of the season to be assured a playoff spot. That would be 43 wins and 94 points, which is enough in the post-lockout landscape. Depending on their first round matchup, they could be doing a lot of damage. The first line is looking very good these days, Guerin, Kunitz and Crosby all had 3 points in this afternoon's game. It was good enough to make the scoring race a 1-2 Penguins punch, which is the first time since Lemieux-Jagr that it's happened this late in the season.
Washington Capitals: Whaaa?!? Considering a third of our readership is Caps fans, I'm giving legitimate space to reporting about them without calling them names. Given their stellar track record at home (despite recent struggles), their recent road power show speaks volumes. On the other hand, their first round opponent will come out swinging in the first two games, knowing that the Caps can clean up in another team's arena. Ovechkin in particular has picked up his game away from home, but bank on him creating more points at home in the postseason. The worry spot for fans has to be Green; teams are starting to pick up on his reluctance to take the body. The playoffs are a grind, and dirty goals are a must. The Ovechkin Play (TM) on the power play may not work, so the Caps have to find a way to adjust.
NHL: Red Wings have taken the points lead. Who's surprised? ...Columbus is the lovable underdog in the West, they're in good position to make the playoffs for the first time in franchise history. ...Philly may make a push for the Atlantic division title if Brodeur stops owning the league soon. They have several games in hand on most Eastern teams. ...It seems only one of the Sabres, Canes and Panthers will make the playoffs. I'm banking on the Hurricanes to finally snap their drought.
Totally wrong NCAA tourney predictions later this week.
- Matt
Monday, January 26, 2009
Bitches Everywhere
I was originally going to write this about the losers who whine about Crosby. But much like Holocaust deniers, seriously discussing this subject gives their argument a shred of imaginary credibility. To them, I say suck it up and follow your own damn team.
But really, this is about a team I support. Many of you have heard about the back-and-forth between A.J. Smith (GM of the Chargers) and LT. Oh wait, you haven't? That's because this is an ESPN-backed retarded tabloid story. If you want proof, look at my nutsack.
ESPN has been drooling over the idea of the Chargers cutting LT after a sub-par year. In which he still rushed for over 1000 yards. While injured. Yeah, let's totally give up on a proven player because they didn't do well one year.
On the other hand, A.J. Smith certainly sounds like a jackass (if the ESPN article is accurate). He seems pretty eager to throw in the towel for LT. Maybe he was too busy rubbing his dick all over the report that said he was the best GM in the league a few years ago. There's a certain level of respect a manager should have for his players, and the guy's sarcastic remarks are just not cutting it. Merriman is right, stop this bullshit.
Also, if the Chargers get rid of LT, it will be a huge mistake. The Chargers have definitely paid for calling Junior Seau washed up, why do it to the all-time single season rushing touchdown record holder? This is making me sick, good night.
- Matt
But really, this is about a team I support. Many of you have heard about the back-and-forth between A.J. Smith (GM of the Chargers) and LT. Oh wait, you haven't? That's because this is an ESPN-backed retarded tabloid story. If you want proof, look at my nutsack.
ESPN has been drooling over the idea of the Chargers cutting LT after a sub-par year. In which he still rushed for over 1000 yards. While injured. Yeah, let's totally give up on a proven player because they didn't do well one year.
On the other hand, A.J. Smith certainly sounds like a jackass (if the ESPN article is accurate). He seems pretty eager to throw in the towel for LT. Maybe he was too busy rubbing his dick all over the report that said he was the best GM in the league a few years ago. There's a certain level of respect a manager should have for his players, and the guy's sarcastic remarks are just not cutting it. Merriman is right, stop this bullshit.
Also, if the Chargers get rid of LT, it will be a huge mistake. The Chargers have definitely paid for calling Junior Seau washed up, why do it to the all-time single season rushing touchdown record holder? This is making me sick, good night.
- Matt
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Chargerblog, Part 4
7:01 - The Chargers make a HaYUGE stop on fourth down. Turnover on downs! Now they just need to march 99.5 yards to get a meaningful score.
7:04 - A nice run by Hester nets a first down and negates a possible challenge by Tomlin. Finally a good thing to happen to San Diego in the second half.
7:05 - Rivers takes way too many steps back, and gets sacked at the 2. This possession is definitely do or die.
7:06 - On second down, the pass sails 50 yards over the receiver's head. Barf.
7:07 - Punt. Game over.
7:09 - Pass interference in the end zone. Totally unnecessary in double coverage. Looks like the Steelers will increase their lead.
7:11 - Steelers get the TD. I hope Big Ben contracts an STD. Steelers 28-10
7:15 - I'm officially calling for Roethlisberger's head. If a player knocks him out of the AFC Championship, I will send him $50. He will have no idea why.
7:18 - Polamalu is having serious issues with coverage/tackling this game. This bodes well for Baltimore next week.
7:20 - My kingdom for some pass protection!
7:22 - Chambers gets a key long pass. The Steelers decide to take a stupid shit penalty, and increase the chances of San Diego scoring. Let's make this a respectable score, boys.
7:23 - WOOOO meaningless TD. Steelers 28-17
7:24 - I would have gone for 2 then. Pretty much only because if it succeeds, you're down by a TD and a FG. If it fails, you're still down by 2 TDs. But that's why I'm not coaching an NFL team.
7:31 - Almost a pick. Sigh. Rivers is sad.
7:33 - It seems Roethlisberger's mantra this quarter is to avoid getting injured. I'd accept a larger deficit and a 15 yard penalty for an injury-inducing hit. Ever since the Fatheads commercials, I've thought Roethlisberger was the biggest douche in professional sports. Even Pittsburghers think he's a douche.
7:34 - STAB HIM DAMN IT! Ray Lewis would want you to.
7:35 - Touchdown Steelers. What a bunch of pompous assholes. I hope they choke in spectacular fashion next week. Homos 35-17
7:39 - The Steelers cheated to beat the Ravens in week 15. I don't care what tiny technicality the league pulled up to cheat for their precious Squeelers, it was NOT a TD. The Steelers are whiny bitches who get everything to go their way because of their huge fanbase.
7:40 - That said, give credit where credit is due. James Harrison is the best linebacker in the NFL. Mike Tomlin is one of the best coaches in the league. The rushing attack by the Steelers is unstoppable by most. This upcoming AFC Championship will be quite a spectacle. I'll be rooting for the Ravens, because they have charisma. Oh, and I'm from Baltimore. And I hate the Steelers more than 30 teams in the NFL.
7:43 - Leftwich in. Looks like we won't be able to injure Roethlisberger now. Sigh.
7:46 - Nice grab by Chambers. I need to look up who will be a free agent next year.
7:48 - Delay of game again. Hoo boy. That means 104 yards in penalties.
7:49 - Tomlin challenges the incompletion. REALLY? You're up by a safe margin. No point whatsoever in doing that except looking good statistically. I hope the football gods pay them back in kind.
7:51 - Darren Sproles rapes the ENTIRE Pittsburgh defense this time, silencing the crowd. Steelers 35-24
7:55 - Onside kick time. Offsides penalty against the Steelers negates a grab to seal the deal.
7:56 - This time, Russell makes the grab and the Steelers secure the win.
7:57 - Go Ravens. Signing off.
- Matt
7:04 - A nice run by Hester nets a first down and negates a possible challenge by Tomlin. Finally a good thing to happen to San Diego in the second half.
7:05 - Rivers takes way too many steps back, and gets sacked at the 2. This possession is definitely do or die.
7:06 - On second down, the pass sails 50 yards over the receiver's head. Barf.
7:07 - Punt. Game over.
7:09 - Pass interference in the end zone. Totally unnecessary in double coverage. Looks like the Steelers will increase their lead.
7:11 - Steelers get the TD. I hope Big Ben contracts an STD. Steelers 28-10
7:15 - I'm officially calling for Roethlisberger's head. If a player knocks him out of the AFC Championship, I will send him $50. He will have no idea why.
7:18 - Polamalu is having serious issues with coverage/tackling this game. This bodes well for Baltimore next week.
7:20 - My kingdom for some pass protection!
7:22 - Chambers gets a key long pass. The Steelers decide to take a stupid shit penalty, and increase the chances of San Diego scoring. Let's make this a respectable score, boys.
7:23 - WOOOO meaningless TD. Steelers 28-17
7:24 - I would have gone for 2 then. Pretty much only because if it succeeds, you're down by a TD and a FG. If it fails, you're still down by 2 TDs. But that's why I'm not coaching an NFL team.
7:31 - Almost a pick. Sigh. Rivers is sad.
7:33 - It seems Roethlisberger's mantra this quarter is to avoid getting injured. I'd accept a larger deficit and a 15 yard penalty for an injury-inducing hit. Ever since the Fatheads commercials, I've thought Roethlisberger was the biggest douche in professional sports. Even Pittsburghers think he's a douche.
7:34 - STAB HIM DAMN IT! Ray Lewis would want you to.
7:35 - Touchdown Steelers. What a bunch of pompous assholes. I hope they choke in spectacular fashion next week. Homos 35-17
7:39 - The Steelers cheated to beat the Ravens in week 15. I don't care what tiny technicality the league pulled up to cheat for their precious Squeelers, it was NOT a TD. The Steelers are whiny bitches who get everything to go their way because of their huge fanbase.
7:40 - That said, give credit where credit is due. James Harrison is the best linebacker in the NFL. Mike Tomlin is one of the best coaches in the league. The rushing attack by the Steelers is unstoppable by most. This upcoming AFC Championship will be quite a spectacle. I'll be rooting for the Ravens, because they have charisma. Oh, and I'm from Baltimore. And I hate the Steelers more than 30 teams in the NFL.
7:43 - Leftwich in. Looks like we won't be able to injure Roethlisberger now. Sigh.
7:46 - Nice grab by Chambers. I need to look up who will be a free agent next year.
7:48 - Delay of game again. Hoo boy. That means 104 yards in penalties.
7:49 - Tomlin challenges the incompletion. REALLY? You're up by a safe margin. No point whatsoever in doing that except looking good statistically. I hope the football gods pay them back in kind.
7:51 - Darren Sproles rapes the ENTIRE Pittsburgh defense this time, silencing the crowd. Steelers 35-24
7:55 - Onside kick time. Offsides penalty against the Steelers negates a grab to seal the deal.
7:56 - This time, Russell makes the grab and the Steelers secure the win.
7:57 - Go Ravens. Signing off.
- Matt
Chargerblog, Part 3
6:39 - Fucking Steelers. Solid drive. Steelers 21-10
6:40 - KEY return by Sproles. 63 yards. What a big time player!
6:41 - Vomit. Tip leads to Pittsburgh interception, the first turnover of the game. I hope these jokes die of AIDS.
6:45 - Challenge? Looks like the Vincent Jackson non-catch in every way, but since the other big market teams have been eliminated, the NFL rules that the Steelers did whatever gives them an advantage. Conspiracyblog.
6:48 - Sorry, Chargers. But when a guy who had a concussion 2 weeks ago attempts to block you, you need to absolutely end his life with a tackle. Especially when he's been shredding your pass D in good situations. Cheap? Not really. Dude should have worn a helmet.
6:51 - First thing to celebrate in a while. Steelers forced to punt. Let's see how this next possession goes.
6:52 - Now that was bizarre. The ball is now Pittsburgh's, but it's not a touchdown. That was pretty much the flukiest play I've ever seen.
6:55 - Another big stop needed, and another missed tackle leads to another first down. Also, a ticky-tack personal foul further reduces the distance to another Steeler touchdown. Jesus.
6:56 - Hines Ward is the biggest whiner in the NFL.
6:58 - Ball at the goal line, fourth down. This play literally decides the entire game.
END OF THE THIRD QUARTER
6:40 - KEY return by Sproles. 63 yards. What a big time player!
6:41 - Vomit. Tip leads to Pittsburgh interception, the first turnover of the game. I hope these jokes die of AIDS.
6:45 - Challenge? Looks like the Vincent Jackson non-catch in every way, but since the other big market teams have been eliminated, the NFL rules that the Steelers did whatever gives them an advantage. Conspiracyblog.
6:48 - Sorry, Chargers. But when a guy who had a concussion 2 weeks ago attempts to block you, you need to absolutely end his life with a tackle. Especially when he's been shredding your pass D in good situations. Cheap? Not really. Dude should have worn a helmet.
6:51 - First thing to celebrate in a while. Steelers forced to punt. Let's see how this next possession goes.
6:52 - Now that was bizarre. The ball is now Pittsburgh's, but it's not a touchdown. That was pretty much the flukiest play I've ever seen.
6:55 - Another big stop needed, and another missed tackle leads to another first down. Also, a ticky-tack personal foul further reduces the distance to another Steeler touchdown. Jesus.
6:56 - Hines Ward is the biggest whiner in the NFL.
6:58 - Ball at the goal line, fourth down. This play literally decides the entire game.
END OF THE THIRD QUARTER
Chargerblog, Part 2
5:27 - Norv strikes again, ill-advised challenge. The officials clearly want the Chargers to be short, so why fight it? If only Tomlin were coaching the Bolts.
5:36 - Weddel goes streaking through, but fortunately it is due to a false start. Close call, that probably would have converted.
5:38 - Minorly terrified that the Steelers could convert, they instead punt away. Berger pulls a Berger and it's touchback city. Time for a drive let's hope!
5:44 - Here we go. Amazing completion may be nullified by a challenge. Tomlin with the red flag.
5:47 - Incomplete. Vomit.
5:50 - Fake called out from a mile away. Stupid decision by the Steelers may prove costly?
5:51 - Norv: "I can call a stupider play!"
5:55 - Gates is the best TE in the whole league. No one can convince me otherwise. What a player.
5:58 - Kaeding drills it facing the end that overlooks the Allegheny River. Not bad, Nate. Chargers 10-7
6:00 - Pittsburgh has three timeouts, and Roethlisberger is one of the best money quarterbacks in the league. This looks bad. It's good if San Diego can hold the Steelers to 3. It's amazing if they can keep them from scoring.
6:01 - Phillips gets elbowed in the throat. Ouch. Also, San Diego is forced to take a timeout. Ouch-er.
6:02 - A sure first down and at least 5 yards by the Steelers is missed, based on an incredibly off-balance throw by Roethlisberger. However, Pitt gets a good first down and the drive is sustained.
6:04 - Very nice move by San Antonio Holmes. But Big Joke throws too far.
6:06 - Shit. wHines Ward finally gets the gain the Steelers are looking for. Stop absolutely needed here.
6:07 - Excellent blocking by Pittsburgh leads to a Parker touchdown. Steelers 14-10
6:08 - 0:40 left on the clock. Let's see what the Chargers can do with this. I'll be satisfied as long as the Steelers don't score before the half.
6:11 - It looks like San Diego is content to go into halftime only trailing by 4. Rivers charges into the tunnel. Hopefully the second half will go better.
END OF THE SECOND QUARTER
6:39 - Chargers' second halves by week: 17/24, 21/38, 17/48, 28/28, 7/10, 13/30, 7/14, 15/32, 14/20, 3/10 (Steelers), 10/20, 9/16, 7/34, 19/22, 21/41, 28/52, 9/23 (playoffs). My calculator is out of batteries, but it seems the Chargers usually get it done in the second half.
5:36 - Weddel goes streaking through, but fortunately it is due to a false start. Close call, that probably would have converted.
5:38 - Minorly terrified that the Steelers could convert, they instead punt away. Berger pulls a Berger and it's touchback city. Time for a drive let's hope!
5:44 - Here we go. Amazing completion may be nullified by a challenge. Tomlin with the red flag.
5:47 - Incomplete. Vomit.
5:50 - Fake called out from a mile away. Stupid decision by the Steelers may prove costly?
5:51 - Norv: "I can call a stupider play!"
5:55 - Gates is the best TE in the whole league. No one can convince me otherwise. What a player.
5:58 - Kaeding drills it facing the end that overlooks the Allegheny River. Not bad, Nate. Chargers 10-7
6:00 - Pittsburgh has three timeouts, and Roethlisberger is one of the best money quarterbacks in the league. This looks bad. It's good if San Diego can hold the Steelers to 3. It's amazing if they can keep them from scoring.
6:01 - Phillips gets elbowed in the throat. Ouch. Also, San Diego is forced to take a timeout. Ouch-er.
6:02 - A sure first down and at least 5 yards by the Steelers is missed, based on an incredibly off-balance throw by Roethlisberger. However, Pitt gets a good first down and the drive is sustained.
6:04 - Very nice move by San Antonio Holmes. But Big Joke throws too far.
6:06 - Shit. wHines Ward finally gets the gain the Steelers are looking for. Stop absolutely needed here.
6:07 - Excellent blocking by Pittsburgh leads to a Parker touchdown. Steelers 14-10
6:08 - 0:40 left on the clock. Let's see what the Chargers can do with this. I'll be satisfied as long as the Steelers don't score before the half.
6:11 - It looks like San Diego is content to go into halftime only trailing by 4. Rivers charges into the tunnel. Hopefully the second half will go better.
END OF THE SECOND QUARTER
6:39 - Chargers' second halves by week: 17/24, 21/38, 17/48, 28/28, 7/10, 13/30, 7/14, 15/32, 14/20, 3/10 (Steelers), 10/20, 9/16, 7/34, 19/22, 21/41, 28/52, 9/23 (playoffs). My calculator is out of batteries, but it seems the Chargers usually get it done in the second half.
Chargerblog, Part 1
Live recapping the Chargers game at Pittsburgh. Recaps posted at end of each quarter.
4:30 - Was snowing a good amount earlier, now it's pretty light here 4 miles east of the stadium.
4:31 - Did you know. The pizza you are eating. It's from Pizza Hut. OMG.
4:37 - "Joe Flacco is the most successful rookie QB ever". Who is surprised Dan Marino and Bill Cowher voted "false"?
4:46 - First pass of the game: 21 yard pass to Gates. According to Cowher, Pittsburgh should have gotten 2 interceptions on the play.
4:48 - Sproles outruns half the Steelers D.
4:49 - WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Jackson takes it to the bank on the 4th play from scrimmage. Chargers 7-0
4:50 - From a guy who hates, commercials, I love the Southwest one where the guy throws a controller at the expensive TV. Amazing.
4:56 - Jammer hits Ward hard, and the ball pops loose. Incomplete, but what a friggin hit!
4:58 - Quick kick by Worthlessberger. What a call by Tomlin. Chargers placed at their own 4, which favors the Steelers immensely.
5:03 - Ouch. San Antonio Holmes returns a punt for a TD. So much for the special teams edge. Thanks a lot, Bill Simmons... Steelers 7-7
5:07 - Good return by Sproles nearly negated by stupid facemask penalty by Hester. Momentum definitely swinging in Pittsburgh's favor.
5:12 - Good god. Norv, you have to do better than that. Also, run? Matt Cavanaugh would be proud. Punt city.
5:14 - They correctly pronounce Scifres, then immediately fail to correctly pronounce "pronunciation". Oh, announcers...
5:18 - It takes 400 pounds of defense to bring down 500 pounds of QB. Roethlisberger hits the ground.
5:22 - I thought Sproles wasn't supposed to be able to run against the Steelers. Man, if pre-game analysts are wrong, who is right in the world? I'd better buy another HDTV before I start thinking too much.
END OF THE FIRST QUARTER
4:30 - Was snowing a good amount earlier, now it's pretty light here 4 miles east of the stadium.
4:31 - Did you know. The pizza you are eating. It's from Pizza Hut. OMG.
4:37 - "Joe Flacco is the most successful rookie QB ever". Who is surprised Dan Marino and Bill Cowher voted "false"?
4:46 - First pass of the game: 21 yard pass to Gates. According to Cowher, Pittsburgh should have gotten 2 interceptions on the play.
4:48 - Sproles outruns half the Steelers D.
4:49 - WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Jackson takes it to the bank on the 4th play from scrimmage. Chargers 7-0
4:50 - From a guy who hates, commercials, I love the Southwest one where the guy throws a controller at the expensive TV. Amazing.
4:56 - Jammer hits Ward hard, and the ball pops loose. Incomplete, but what a friggin hit!
4:58 - Quick kick by Worthlessberger. What a call by Tomlin. Chargers placed at their own 4, which favors the Steelers immensely.
5:03 - Ouch. San Antonio Holmes returns a punt for a TD. So much for the special teams edge. Thanks a lot, Bill Simmons... Steelers 7-7
5:07 - Good return by Sproles nearly negated by stupid facemask penalty by Hester. Momentum definitely swinging in Pittsburgh's favor.
5:12 - Good god. Norv, you have to do better than that. Also, run? Matt Cavanaugh would be proud. Punt city.
5:14 - They correctly pronounce Scifres, then immediately fail to correctly pronounce "pronunciation". Oh, announcers...
5:18 - It takes 400 pounds of defense to bring down 500 pounds of QB. Roethlisberger hits the ground.
5:22 - I thought Sproles wasn't supposed to be able to run against the Steelers. Man, if pre-game analysts are wrong, who is right in the world? I'd better buy another HDTV before I start thinking too much.
END OF THE FIRST QUARTER
Gameday Number 18: Pittsburgh Steelers
These jokes are 12-4. Which means they are 3.5 games ahead of the Chargers in the standings. Guess who else was 12-4.
Still, you don't win 12 games by accident. You win 4 of them by playing the Browns and Bengals. And their defense has simply pushed around the vast majority of the AFC, with their offense good enough to beat good defenses. They might be the only team to ever go 6-0 in the AFC North. Troy Polamalu is sick. Etc.
Brief break: the dancing/gloating robot in Fox NFL things is beyond awful.
Positive buzz from multiple sources about the Chargers' chances today. First, Seth Wickersham gave five points why the Bolts should win this game.
[ESPN]
I was pretty pumped after reading that. Then I looked at the obnoxious BS stuff spewed around the page, saw another playoffs pick 'em, and was horrified to realize he picked the Chargers to win.
[Vomit]
TMQ and BS differ in key ways, as the most popular Page 2 writers on ESPN. TMQ is usually right about the football aspects, but his space/politics rants are often off-base. BS shows an incredible lack of skill in picking important game, but he's more connected to fandom and the pop culture aspects of generation X. Which is probably why he gets really annoying.
At any rate, I sincerely hope both are right and it comes down to special teams. Otherwise I won't be able to show my face in the office tomorrow.
Ravens visit the winner of this game. Meh.
Cardinals humiliate Panthers. Wtf.
Eagles beat the Giants. Barf.
That's about as much effort as I can muster to cover those teams. Maybe Will will post or something?
- Matt
Still, you don't win 12 games by accident. You win 4 of them by playing the Browns and Bengals. And their defense has simply pushed around the vast majority of the AFC, with their offense good enough to beat good defenses. They might be the only team to ever go 6-0 in the AFC North. Troy Polamalu is sick. Etc.
Brief break: the dancing/gloating robot in Fox NFL things is beyond awful.
Positive buzz from multiple sources about the Chargers' chances today. First, Seth Wickersham gave five points why the Bolts should win this game.
[ESPN]
I was pretty pumped after reading that. Then I looked at the obnoxious BS stuff spewed around the page, saw another playoffs pick 'em, and was horrified to realize he picked the Chargers to win.
[Vomit]
TMQ and BS differ in key ways, as the most popular Page 2 writers on ESPN. TMQ is usually right about the football aspects, but his space/politics rants are often off-base. BS shows an incredible lack of skill in picking important game, but he's more connected to fandom and the pop culture aspects of generation X. Which is probably why he gets really annoying.
At any rate, I sincerely hope both are right and it comes down to special teams. Otherwise I won't be able to show my face in the office tomorrow.
Ravens visit the winner of this game. Meh.
Cardinals humiliate Panthers. Wtf.
Eagles beat the Giants. Barf.
That's about as much effort as I can muster to cover those teams. Maybe Will will post or something?
- Matt
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Steelers Suck
For those of you in Pittsburgh (read: no one), you may know that Mark Madden's show in the afternoons on the X is a pretty good source of sports information in Pittsburgh. However, it's also an incredibly inaccurate source of information, as he takes c-bloggers in the Pensblog and posters on LetsGoPens as factfinders. Recently he reported Therrien was getting fired today. Oops.
Anyway, he seems to believe the Steelers are going to blow out the Chargers. Yeah, because they totally beat them by more than a single point before. Don't give me that bullshit about the Steelers having a bad offensive day. When have the Steelers played a decent team and had their offense score more than 20? Wait, don't answer, I don't care.
The Chargers have excellent pass D and so-so run D. Good thing the Steelers have been relatively poor in both recently. Anyone can rush for 120 yards vs the Browns, especially when they've given up on life. The Steeler defense was the best this year, but they can't force three-and-outs every time the Chargers have the ball. Plus, if Polamalu has a bad day, the defense struggles a lot.
Prediction: Chargers have the edge in offense, Steelers have the edge in defense. It will all come down to field position, which means two things. First, the Chargers need to limit turnovers. Second, this is the biggest special teams mismatch I've seen all year. The Steelers' punter is worse than Panic at the Disco. Scifres is so good, his team actually pretends he plays football. Kaeding is slightly better than Reed, but that will only matter in the 40+ yard FG range. If Rivers is turnover free, this is a Chargers win.
I'd do real number analysis, but I'm super lazy. Penguins on dads-and-sons road trip. This means wins, which is pretty key right now.
- Matt
Anyway, he seems to believe the Steelers are going to blow out the Chargers. Yeah, because they totally beat them by more than a single point before. Don't give me that bullshit about the Steelers having a bad offensive day. When have the Steelers played a decent team and had their offense score more than 20? Wait, don't answer, I don't care.
The Chargers have excellent pass D and so-so run D. Good thing the Steelers have been relatively poor in both recently. Anyone can rush for 120 yards vs the Browns, especially when they've given up on life. The Steeler defense was the best this year, but they can't force three-and-outs every time the Chargers have the ball. Plus, if Polamalu has a bad day, the defense struggles a lot.
Prediction: Chargers have the edge in offense, Steelers have the edge in defense. It will all come down to field position, which means two things. First, the Chargers need to limit turnovers. Second, this is the biggest special teams mismatch I've seen all year. The Steelers' punter is worse than Panic at the Disco. Scifres is so good, his team actually pretends he plays football. Kaeding is slightly better than Reed, but that will only matter in the 40+ yard FG range. If Rivers is turnover free, this is a Chargers win.
I'd do real number analysis, but I'm super lazy. Penguins on dads-and-sons road trip. This means wins, which is pretty key right now.
- Matt
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Next!
Apparently being an 8-8 team means you're the worst team ever and you'll never beat anyone, ever never ever. Especially if it's Peyton Manning. Now I just need to have some southern-accent guy actually go down on him and the thought will be complete.
Oh wait. I meant, the Chargers are a good team who lost 5 even games due to a combination of bad luck and fluky plays. If they went 13-3, we wouldn't hear anything but how amazing they are and how they'll beat everyone ever. In conclusion, fuck the media. Between this and the Teixeira thing, ESPN has lost all credibility to me.
Now onto opponents who don't steal teams from other towns. The Steelers are one of the most annoying teams in the history of anything. Not for their players, but their fans. Hearing the press leading up to this game is destroying my brain cells, 1000 at a time. The Penguins' radio station has been calling for Dan Potash's blood, because he's a Chargers fan. Pittsburgh has a way of turning every opponent they face into the most hated team that ever played. I can only hope the Bolts pull off the upset.
Speaking of which, I'll be blogging during the game. Hopefully I can get four entries, one per quarter. I won't be leaving my apartment, especially because I'll be wearing a Gates jersey. You know, a player who doesn't do stupid shit like get a DUI before the most important game of the year. UGH.
- Matt
Oh wait. I meant, the Chargers are a good team who lost 5 even games due to a combination of bad luck and fluky plays. If they went 13-3, we wouldn't hear anything but how amazing they are and how they'll beat everyone ever. In conclusion, fuck the media. Between this and the Teixeira thing, ESPN has lost all credibility to me.
Now onto opponents who don't steal teams from other towns. The Steelers are one of the most annoying teams in the history of anything. Not for their players, but their fans. Hearing the press leading up to this game is destroying my brain cells, 1000 at a time. The Penguins' radio station has been calling for Dan Potash's blood, because he's a Chargers fan. Pittsburgh has a way of turning every opponent they face into the most hated team that ever played. I can only hope the Bolts pull off the upset.
Speaking of which, I'll be blogging during the game. Hopefully I can get four entries, one per quarter. I won't be leaving my apartment, especially because I'll be wearing a Gates jersey. You know, a player who doesn't do stupid shit like get a DUI before the most important game of the year. UGH.
- Matt
Sunday, December 21, 2008
The Ravens Are Some Sort of Football Team.
It's not my place to write about other people's favorite teams. But Will hasn't posted since I last had sex, so let's go ahead and do him a favor:
First of all, it's nice that the Ravens are in control of their own destiny. No, I'm not bitter that a team I honestly thought was going to win the Super Bowl this year and who I happen to root for is NOT in control of their own destiny, why do you ask? But the Ravens need to beat the severely underachieving Jags to make the playoffs for sure, regardless of what goes down in the AFC East. The Chargers... let's move on.
Didn't care enough to watch the actual broadcast, but I saw the recap on nfl.com and it went something like this:
Announcer #1: The Cowboys are great, aren't they?
Announcer #2: (Mouth full of Cowboy dick)
I mean, seriously, the second guy did all but cup the balls. Go ahead and watch the video recap. As Mason scoops up the fumble, and as McGahee breaks free of tacklers, he says "ohhh noooo" on the air pretty loudly. Let's keep in mind this was a nationally broadcast game, not some shitty Dallas CBS announcers. But it gets better. As McClain rumbles in for the second TD in two plays (holy fuck, by the way), you can actually hear him take off his headset and slam it on something! Where the hell do they find these guys? Unemployment office parking lot in Texas? Let's get a Detroit guy instead, at least the color commentary would just be gentle sobbing.
Besides the joke announcing job, the other thing that stands out is how overrated Jason Garrett is/was. When I heard the Ravens were pursuing him, I told people "oh, so they want exactly what Billick was?" And look, now Dallas looks stupid for opening up the checkbook for someone who benefitted from talented players. Phillips is possibly worse than Norv, he shouldn't have an NFL head coaching job. Harbaugh is good, definitely better than average in this league. And Flacco is the best QB the Ravens have had, maybe better than Vinny Testaverde (don't wet yourself just yet, Ravens fans).
Is any of this enough to make me root for my original home team again? Hell no. Brees with both eyes gouged out is better than most of Bmore's offensive players, and Rivers, though a huge dick, is vastly more skilled than Flacco. LT is causing many people to panic, but he's still a quality back, better than McGahee or McClain. San Diego lost to the current playoff teams that have clinched playoff spots by a total of 4. Throw in Denver, and it's 5. It just goes to show how much luck matters. Pittsburgh is incredibly lucky, San Diego is incredibly unlucky this year. Baltimore's MO is win or get blown out, unless the opposing offense is inept (Pitt, Tenny).
In short, congrats Ravens fans, but it's not over. It's actually possible the Chargers make it and you don't. Hopefully I don't see too many urine stains on people's pants (at least I hope it's urine) when I get back in town, because the birds aren't even close to the Super Bowl yet. Well, that's my backhanded compliment entry for the month, time to go pretend the Pens aren't missing half their team right now...
- Matt
First of all, it's nice that the Ravens are in control of their own destiny. No, I'm not bitter that a team I honestly thought was going to win the Super Bowl this year and who I happen to root for is NOT in control of their own destiny, why do you ask? But the Ravens need to beat the severely underachieving Jags to make the playoffs for sure, regardless of what goes down in the AFC East. The Chargers... let's move on.
Didn't care enough to watch the actual broadcast, but I saw the recap on nfl.com and it went something like this:
Announcer #1: The Cowboys are great, aren't they?
Announcer #2: (Mouth full of Cowboy dick)
I mean, seriously, the second guy did all but cup the balls. Go ahead and watch the video recap. As Mason scoops up the fumble, and as McGahee breaks free of tacklers, he says "ohhh noooo" on the air pretty loudly. Let's keep in mind this was a nationally broadcast game, not some shitty Dallas CBS announcers. But it gets better. As McClain rumbles in for the second TD in two plays (holy fuck, by the way), you can actually hear him take off his headset and slam it on something! Where the hell do they find these guys? Unemployment office parking lot in Texas? Let's get a Detroit guy instead, at least the color commentary would just be gentle sobbing.
Besides the joke announcing job, the other thing that stands out is how overrated Jason Garrett is/was. When I heard the Ravens were pursuing him, I told people "oh, so they want exactly what Billick was?" And look, now Dallas looks stupid for opening up the checkbook for someone who benefitted from talented players. Phillips is possibly worse than Norv, he shouldn't have an NFL head coaching job. Harbaugh is good, definitely better than average in this league. And Flacco is the best QB the Ravens have had, maybe better than Vinny Testaverde (don't wet yourself just yet, Ravens fans).
Is any of this enough to make me root for my original home team again? Hell no. Brees with both eyes gouged out is better than most of Bmore's offensive players, and Rivers, though a huge dick, is vastly more skilled than Flacco. LT is causing many people to panic, but he's still a quality back, better than McGahee or McClain. San Diego lost to the current playoff teams that have clinched playoff spots by a total of 4. Throw in Denver, and it's 5. It just goes to show how much luck matters. Pittsburgh is incredibly lucky, San Diego is incredibly unlucky this year. Baltimore's MO is win or get blown out, unless the opposing offense is inept (Pitt, Tenny).
In short, congrats Ravens fans, but it's not over. It's actually possible the Chargers make it and you don't. Hopefully I don't see too many urine stains on people's pants (at least I hope it's urine) when I get back in town, because the birds aren't even close to the Super Bowl yet. Well, that's my backhanded compliment entry for the month, time to go pretend the Pens aren't missing half their team right now...
- Matt
Sunday, December 14, 2008
End of Season Report
What's it like to poop your pants when you absolutely need to drive for 5 hours straight? Ask the Chargers, who have turned a must-win game into a thrashing by a 2-11 team. Now that the season has officially sucked worse than Mission Impossible 2, it can safely be said the Bolts need a shakeup. i have another 9 months to write about how, so I won't right now. But the o-line needs a ton of work.
- Matt
- Matt
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Balls Everywhere
Well, so much for my prediction.
So where do the Chargers go from here? I'm sure Ravens fans are very used to this question: underachieving high quality team falls short of playoffs. Panic and go with youth movement? Keep status quo and chalk it up to bad luck? Fire Norv? Fire NORV? FIRE NORV?!?
Regardless, the Bolts should start playing the spoiler role. Let some younger guys get their licks in. Limit LT's carries so he can get healthy again. Keep Rivers from getting injured. Finally, do all you can to embarrass your division leader, Denver. Why? Because fuck 'em that's why!
Finally, let's take a look at the draft positions. San Diego stands at 10th right now, due to their superior conference record (compared to the other 4-8 teams, San Fran, Jax, and Cleveland). I think it's pretty clear they need to improve their lines, as two of the more recent games have had pivotal safeties which bit them in the ass. And the defense... well, let's not talk about the defense maybe.
More on this when the Chargers are actually mathematically eliminated from the postseason. I'll comfort myself with Carrie Milbank, NHL reporter:
- Matt
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