ELECTION 08 Drinking Games

Let's get this political week started with good ol' fashioned alcoholism.

Brought to you by... A&L Motors

Best commercial. EVER.

So many of you might be going to election parties. Most of you will be drinking, regardless of political affiliation. Those of you supporting Ron Paul will be drinking the heaviest. I thought I'd help you out with a guide to responsible election drinking... in the form of games.

Take 1 drink when:

• Fox News makes backhanded comment about Obama as he's winning
• Any news source reminds you that if Obama is elected, he will be the first black president of the United States
• Every time you see McCain awake past 9 PM EST
• Whenever CNN refers to the "Magic 60" (or whatever they're calling it) that Democrats need to capture true majority

Take 2 drinks when:

• A state's unofficial results are posted (note: only do this the first time a state is awarded to a candidate, you will get shitty otherwise)
• Campaign music is played: classic rock
• They show that goddamn electoral map in color with different shades
• You accidentally turn on NBC, CBS, or FSN (Comcast for those of you playing in MD)

Take 3 drinks when:

• Anderson Cooper stares blankly at the camera (feel free to jettison this rule if you need to drive home)
• Campaign music is played: country
• Random celebrity offers their two cents on political anything
• Political ad played even though polls have long been closed in your state

CHUG (drink the magic potioooooonnnnn) when:

• Candidate mispronounces word (see: nuclear, Muslim, library, etc.)
• Campaign music is played: rap, heavy metal, or techno
• Your state's results are official
• You get bored and decide you need to play Rock Band 2 with your friends

Alternatively, you can try this simple drinking game involving the electoral map and beer shots. It can get pretty dry between hours though, so you may want to supplement it with the game above:

At the beginning of the party, if you're in a room with mostly people who voted for the same guy you did, pull out a deck of cards. Hand one card out to everyone. If the card is red, they take a beer shot whenever a state goes for McCain. If it's black/blue/whatever then take a beer shot every time Obama wins a state. It should be pretty balanced in total amount of drinking. Things to consider are the fact that if you get black, you're going to be drinking a lot at the beginning and end of the party, but not in the middle.

You can also drink every time your candidate wins a state, or just drink whenever the opposing candidate wins a state if the results are depressing you. Either way, just trying to help out those in need of something to spice up the endless droning of analysts while we simply wait for them to release the goddamn results of each state. Can't wait!

- Matt