Douchebags! And they own sports teams!

Back in the day, a douchebag owner was a reason to rally more behind your team, support a radical, feel energized. Yawn. These days we have dudes older than the Mayflower acting like anyone still listens to them. Here's some advice: if you smell like Geritol, no one cares what you think. 

The top 10 douchiest owners were chosen and ranked on the Doucheometer, a scientifically proven method for determining how much of a douche the subject is. Only the four major sports were considered.

Guy Who Moved the Supersonics (NBA)

Doucheometer: 1/5

Rank: Douchelike

Reason: He moved the Sonics. What an ass move.

Jeffrey Loria (MLB, Marlins)

Doucheometer: 1/5

Rank: Douche

Reason: His penny-pinching tactics are legendary. Why try to fill stadium seats and appeal to fans when you can suck for a few years and win a world series every once in a while? Maybe he's a douche because it works.

Comcast-Spectator (NHL, Flyers. Oh, and 76ers but no one cares)

Doucheometer: 2/5

Rank: Quite Douche

Reason: They own the Flyers. And Comcast's coverage of sports blows.

Dan Rooney (NFL, Steelers)

Doucheometer: 2/5

Rank: Douchenozzle

Reason: He desperately wants to get the other shares of the team from his siblings... but he wants to rip them off in the process. That has to be a fun Thanksgiving dinner.

Ralph Wilson (NFL, Bills)

Doucheometer: 3/5

Rank: Unclefucker

Reason: He wants to sell the team so he doesn't have to pay taxes when he dies. So instead of letting his kids have any say, he wants to sell the team to whoever. Also, stadia named after owners is the Mark of the Douche.

Peter Angelos (MLB, Orioles)

Doucheometer: 3/5

Rank: Assmaster

Reason: Publicly undermining your manager/general manager, pursuing overpaid veterans while ignoring the youth movement, alienating fans by trying to block out Nationals fans, denying you're making all the wrong moves, etc. Douche enough for you?

Len Barrie and Oren Koules (NHL, Lightning)

Doucheometer: 4/5

Rank: Double the Douche

Reason: Promos for Saw V. Hiring Barry Melrose as coach. Pursuing a ton of forwards and trading your best defender. Forcing the GM out. Trading the second best defender to Philly for nothing in return. Being smug assholes the whole way. Why did people think the Lightning would be decent this year?

Al Davis (NFL, Raiders)

Doucheometer: 4/5

Rank: Uberdouche

Reason: This one explains itself. Just be a douche, baby!

Jerry Jones (NFL, Cowboys)

Doucheometer: 5/5

Rank: Ultimate Douche

Reason: Stalking the sidelines to "motivate" the coach is retarded. Never works, and undermines the coach's authority. Also, is more egotistical than Brett Favre. When you look older than Hugh Hefner, you shouldn't have more public exposure than him.

Finally... the moment you've all been waiting for. Highest rank of douche:

The Steinbrenners (MLB, Yankees)

Doucheometer: 5/5

Rank: Douche Prime

Reason: If you don't know why these guys are the biggest owner douches ever, clearly you don't pay much attention to sports.

- Matt