The Curious Case of Benjamin Roethlisberger

It is no secret I'm not a fan of Ben Roethlisberger.

Let me amend that. I'm a fan of his style of play. I think he's the most clutch quarterback in the NFL. I think every team needs a QB like him in order to win.

But the guy is an insufferable douche.

So when news broke of Big Bitch being sued for sexual assault, I began to think, how probable is this to be true?

Naturally, superstars (especially ones that have just gotten national recognition for winning championships) are prone to scams and parasites trying to make a quick buck, just for existing. So when someone says an athlete did something to them, I'm a little naturally inclined to disbelieve them, especially when they are from a lower socioeconomic background. However, the ultimate say goes to the athlete's character. Not as a leader, or on the field personality, but as a human being. How do they typically treat people they view as "beneath them", beyond the mandatory community service given to them by their agent. And in the 5 years I've lived in Pittsburgh, I can unequivocally say, Ben Roethlisberger is a douche.

Naturally, there are two "most likely" scenarios that have happened:

1. Roethlisberger has had no interaction with this girl in his life, and she's trying to get money off the Super Bowl winning quarterback.

2. Roethlisberger partied like a douchey frat boy with this girl, but did not sexually assault her.

Usually I would add "the girl consented and later claimed she didn't" to the list, but I don't see it in this case.

Now, look at this one comment by Roethlisberger's lawyer:

"This weekend Andrea McNulty served Ben Roethlisberger with a civil complaint accusing him of sexually assaulting her in July 2008. Ben has never sexually assaulted anyone; especially Andrea McNulty." Bold mine.

What the fuck does that even mean? Is it a poor choice of words, or deliberately trying to publicly humiliate the woman for daring to file a suit? If he indeed sexually assaulted her, it could be revenge for her opening her mouth. It just seems that, in a position with nothing to gain and everything to lose, why would you add that last part in a prepared statement? The rest of the quote:

"The timing of the lawsuit and the absence of a criminal complaint and a criminal investigation are the most compelling evidence of the absence of any criminal conduct."

Yeah, good luck with that argument. It's not like being sexually assaulted is a traumatic experience and the majority of victims go unreported. Oh wait.

My point is, on first examination, it seems like another case of someone trying to profit off of a superstar. However, there are enough quirks to this story to legitimize the suit, and even those with black-and-gold-colored glasses have to admit, it's entirely possible Roethlisberger assaulted this girl.

Alternate Theory: his lawyer is a huge douche, and is not only exercising his douchedom, but by inserting his foot squarely into his mouth, he might give more credence to the opposing argument and be able to bleed his client for more money. Good times.

- Matt